#31daysoffrailty · #write31days · Glory · Worth

31 days of frailty | LIPSERVICE

Lip service; It ain't pretty.
Lip service; It ain’t pretty.

Fresh starts have so many wonderful elements and for anyone who has long endured a situation they’ve been praying would change, a brand new circumstance seems like ¬†– angels singing – THE ANSWER! ¬†Until you are in that brand new situation and it feels like….

Middle school.

Who do I eat lunch with?  Is my skirt too short?  I thought that was funny, did you?

And the real question is how honest am I going to be? ¬†This time. ¬†With these people, is it safe to be myself? ¬†When isn’t it?

Truthfulness has been dogging me lately, sort of the way mercy was this summer. ¬†It has become¬†a common boundary in professional and spiritual areas of my life, and I’ve crossed my arms and furrowed my brow at it a fair amount. ¬†I never thought I had a problem with truthfulness. ¬†But today proved me wrong. Today I toyed with lying.

Shauna Niequist’s words today in her newest book, Savor, helped me to show some self-compassion because living honestly with everyone, those new in my life and those I’ve long loved, is hard sometimes. ¬†When someone else admits it, it helps. ¬†When are we not honest, good people that we are? ¬†Lets look at this another way. ¬†Have you ever had someone point out the spinach between your teeth because they would want you to do the same? ¬†There is honesty that is an agreement. ¬†It is like saying, “I agree to be as honest as you are, and therefore, we are both dependent on each other’s truthfulness or we are betrayed by it. ¬†But we are equally at risk.” ¬†We make this agreement all the time with good intentions. ¬†And then we still only reveal what our hearts tell us we can.

Savor by Shauna Niequist is a great read!
Savor by Shauna Niequist is a great read!

I love the scripture Shauna references above from Psalm 15 about who the Lord counts as worthy to stand in his holy tent. “The one who speaks truth from the heart.” ¬†The whole chapter is a beautiful testimony to the honor that God calls out of us with his love. Today I had to put those words to work. ¬†I was in a meeting where how I really feel about an issue was asked of me. ¬†With only a little warning, I was put on the spot. ¬†Rewind¬†to every single time I’ve ever faked my answer. ¬†Fast forward to figuring out how to be honest now because I get a fresh start.

Honestly, in the moment when my heart had to decide, will I answer the question posed with truthfulness, or will I hide and pretend about who I am, I’ve learned that I can also be praying. ¬†I tried that today, and was infused with strength.¬†“God,” I asked, “give me words to say.” and the peace to be honest arrived. ¬†The fact that it was a struggle was what proved to me that the struggle is real.

Sometimes paying lip service vs. showing up as me¬†has landed me in a fake world with fake love and fake friends. So not worth it. ¬†Being the most truthful me that I can be in the world might be the hardest thing ever. ¬†Like Brene Brown says, it¬†sometimes ends in a vulnerability hangover. But speaking truth from the heart honors God. ¬†Those are the folks he lets in close to his heart. ¬†Probably because it’s in those moments that we are most the ones he made us to be.

 

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “31 days of frailty | LIPSERVICE

  1. Truth values your self, often in ways others will not or cannot. Plus it smooths the path, regardless of how arduous the terrain.

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