#cultivatecourageous · #write31days · Brave · Compassion · relationships

Are you for real?

Broken-beautiful people are my favorite <3

Hint: That would be all of us.

Unless you don’t identify as broken because beautiful still reigns over¬†your self-definition. ¬†I spent a lot of time in your shoes, and you make me want to parade around in them with you. ¬†Girl, those are some awesome shoes!

But I just can’t anymore ~ I’m done holding my breath, and I actually love myself.

That’s why it’s really important to me these days to believe that my friends are for real. ¬†I’m not talking about fake friends. ¬†Stay with me for #CultivateCourageous, because we’ll tackle that too. ¬†No, I’m talking about people who¬†are not real with themselves. ¬†Friends who are¬†not willing to face their own foibles feel unsafe to me.

By saying that, I guess I’m declaring open season on the places where I’m in denial, where I fail to show up as me. ¬†And if you’re already laughing, then I hope you’re laughing with me. ¬†Real is not for the faint-of-heart! ¬†It is, however, where all the best treasure is buried.

A friend told me last night that he likes my writing best when I’m baring my gritty soul, and that sometimes I’ve fallen short of doing that. ¬†I love that about him. ¬†He has earned the right to call me out¬†when I’m disrespecting the reader by loitering on the playground with truth, and never getting on the swing. ¬†Guess how he did that? ¬†By being real with me, himself.

Pike Place Market, Seattle. For real.

Real people recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and don’t apologize for their valiant choices. ¬†They make us at home in our skin by being at home in their’s. ¬†Real people confess doubts, even when it’s with fierce reluctance. ¬†And we are all real underneath – it’s just that¬†sometimes your real has to knock for quite a while in darkness before you grant it permission to sit in the light.

Are you for real?  

This is a mirror question. ¬†If you want this kind of real in your relationships, you better show up with yours. ¬†And sometimes you’ll go first. ¬†Are you okay with your own broken-beautiful self? ¬†It’s a process, so be kind. ¬†The best way to get real is to give it, so, honey, this starts with you.

When you offer real, you can expect it in return. ¬†You can really raise the bar. ¬†This will become one of the things your friends love about you, if it’s not already. ¬†And when you ask her an honest question in the safety of your warm¬†acceptance, pay attention. ¬†Watch for the relief on her face. ¬†Then be ready to receive her whole heart and know you’ve been found worthy.


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7 thoughts on “Are you for real?

  1. ‘sometimes your real has to knock for quite a while in darkness before you grant it permission to sit in the light’ You write, oh so, beautifully. Love this

  2. Yep. This is me. I cover up my reality to please people. I pretend so my boss won’t fire me. I have it all together because I don’t trust others to do the same. I’m a great big mess, but sometimes people can’t handle that. This is indeed an issue I’m working on … and a new one, unfortunately … I have a long way to go

    1. Rachel, I feel like I never saw this comment until now – so sorry! How is it going? What you’re explaining is something I really feel I’ve done a lot of. Unfortunately changing bosses is sometimes the way forward. Great big mess —> me too!

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