#cultivatecourageous · #write31days · Brave · Compassion · relationships

Are you for real?

Broken-beautiful people are my favorite <3

Hint: That would be all of us.

Unless you don’t identify as broken because beautiful still reigns over your self-definition.  I spent a lot of time in your shoes, and you make me want to parade around in them with you.  Girl, those are some awesome shoes!

But I just can’t anymore ~ I’m done holding my breath, and I actually love myself.

That’s why it’s really important to me these days to believe that my friends are for real.  I’m not talking about fake friends.  Stay with me for #CultivateCourageous, because we’ll tackle that too.  No, I’m talking about people who are not real with themselves.  Friends who are not willing to face their own foibles feel unsafe to me.

By saying that, I guess I’m declaring open season on the places where I’m in denial, where I fail to show up as me.  And if you’re already laughing, then I hope you’re laughing with me.  Real is not for the faint-of-heart!  It is, however, where all the best treasure is buried.

A friend told me last night that he likes my writing best when I’m baring my gritty soul, and that sometimes I’ve fallen short of doing that.  I love that about him.  He has earned the right to call me out when I’m disrespecting the reader by loitering on the playground with truth, and never getting on the swing.  Guess how he did that?  By being real with me, himself.

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Pike Place Market, Seattle. For real.

Real people recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and don’t apologize for their valiant choices.  They make us at home in our skin by being at home in their’s.  Real people confess doubts, even when it’s with fierce reluctance.  And we are all real underneath – it’s just that sometimes your real has to knock for quite a while in darkness before you grant it permission to sit in the light.

Are you for real?  

This is a mirror question.  If you want this kind of real in your relationships, you better show up with yours.  And sometimes you’ll go first.  Are you okay with your own broken-beautiful self?  It’s a process, so be kind.  The best way to get real is to give it, so, honey, this starts with you.

When you offer real, you can expect it in return.  You can really raise the bar.  This will become one of the things your friends love about you, if it’s not already.  And when you ask her an honest question in the safety of your warm acceptance, pay attention.  Watch for the relief on her face.  Then be ready to receive her whole heart and know you’ve been found worthy.

~

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7 thoughts on “Are you for real?

  1. ‘sometimes your real has to knock for quite a while in darkness before you grant it permission to sit in the light’ You write, oh so, beautifully. Love this

  2. Yep. This is me. I cover up my reality to please people. I pretend so my boss won’t fire me. I have it all together because I don’t trust others to do the same. I’m a great big mess, but sometimes people can’t handle that. This is indeed an issue I’m working on … and a new one, unfortunately … I have a long way to go

    1. Rachel, I feel like I never saw this comment until now – so sorry! How is it going? What you’re explaining is something I really feel I’ve done a lot of. Unfortunately changing bosses is sometimes the way forward. Great big mess —> me too!

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