Books · dreams and goals · Goodness · Stories · Worth

summer☀️school for the soul

There will be days, this summer, after all that sand and sun, when you might just crave a little soul-deep soak in lessons that someone else has already learned the hard way.  

One small shortcut to wise, please, hold the jimmies.  Can’t it just be that simple?

I’ve got you.

#cultivatecourageous · #write31days · Books · Family · Goodness · relationships

half empty or half full?

When things happen to us, we sift and resift information to shape how we see the world….it’s all in the framing. – Shankar Vedantam

Asking our friends about their core optimism or pessimism is always fascinating. You may think you have a handle on where she falls on the spectrum just from doing life together, but your opinion about her does not make it so.

The right amount of curiosity cracks open a doorway to deeper trust.

#cultivatecourageous · #write31days · Books · Brave

What are you eating?

I have a cookbook collection. Ok, I have a style of eating collection.

But underneath all the choices, I’m left with the question – how will I eat for the life that I want? I find with my friends that talking about food is never just talking about food.

#cultivatecourageous · #write31days · Books · relationships · Stories

What are you reading?

Asking a friend what they are reading can be a great way to understand the season she is in, because books come in an out of our hands like wave-worn stones. The books you read become your book-self, that grand imagination-sized world that your mind travels to on words.

#cultivatecourageous · #write31days · Books · relationships · Stories

Is it okay that I’m not you?

The minute I learned I was having a second daughter, I was deliriously happy for my firstborn.  I didn’t have sisters, but God let me make some girls to keep me surrounded by women.

No matter who your people are, the ones who get you and the ones who begot you all serve to form your identity – as different from them.

As soon as we are in school, boys and girls, we all start asking these questions, and sometimes they plague us for life.

“Am I like her?”

“Is it okay if I’m not?”

Yikes.  Flashback.

I have a stubborn memory of being teased at recess because I carried a purse AND I wore it across my body instead of on one shoulder – of being shamed by friends in public who were close to me in private.  We all want to belong, but need to be unique – the tension is consistent, isn’t it?  That’s why “high school’s never over.”*.  It follows us up the years even in our friendships, that sensation of being torn when we stand out because the solidarity of sameness is so powerful.

God has revised that memory for me to show me that I’ve always had a creative identity; I still like cross-body bags, and I still choose to love a wild bouquet of people. I like originals. One of my favorite things about life in Christ is unveiling his fingerprints together.  We don’t have to all be the same.  Isn’t that fantastic?

Regarding the differences that reveal themselves as friends grow closer, what you really want to know when you hold an unpopular stance is, are you going to leave me now?  The people who have stayed in my life beyond the sticky early days are the people who are not intimidated by their own identity, so they can safely appreciate mine.

The big idea is this; dare to disagree.  It will help you skip right to real friendship.

Our anomalies rattle the security of our bonds, but with every love we need to find a safe way to be ourselves together. So stay in your lane and admire the view.  When a friend makes a choice that you’d never make, just smile and say boldly, “I love that about you!”

 *Prudie to her husband in a line from The Jane Austin Book Club
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