HONEST has been an important word for me this year. Do you have words like that? Words that pop up inside you and echo outside you until you feel like God has tipped up your chin and told you to listen?
When this happens to me, I notice that I’m on to something. I may need to walk around in honest for a while until I understand why, but here’s what I’ve got so far. The person I am most likely to be dishonest with is me.
For approval, for a powerful person’s goals, or for something that everyone says is good, I have offered my time and my heart and walked away feeling the worst kind of used. The kind I signed up for.
“Ready for some truth?” is one of my favorite questions, but I don’t ask it often. Guess why. Because I’m not always ready to be honest.
My friend says she loves when I ask it or text it because,
“it says, I’m ready to reveal something and I’ve picked YOU because I trust you can bear it and will love me in it.”
Ding-ding-ding, we have a winner. And that’s why we’re friends. This is a question that points back at me when I ask it. It puts me in the hot-seat. I ask it when I’m ready to, no sooner, so bring your love. I may take full advantage of it. You have the power to put me out of my misery.
Ready for some truth sometimes means I’m about to tell you something I’ve tried to hide but it’s time I came clean. It means whatever you want it to mean from little to large. Use it sparingly or it will lose its mojo ;j
How honest are we together? It feels like yoga to me – sometimes we need to breathe into the posture so we can go deeper, and it’s not until we do that we know that we can.
I love this question because who is really going to say no? That doesn’t mean it always goes smoothly. Watch carefully for the reaction. I feel the need to warn you about this question – you will not be comfortably in control of the doors that start opening.
What if your friend recoils at the idea that the two of you have not been honest enough yet or imagines that you are about to overwhelm her? Adjust. Check your environment, frisk your motives, and actually care how you’re received. Proceed with kindness.
This is not a pass/fail exam – it’s an exquisite dialogue.
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